My Demons

Here I will briefly mention some of my personal struggles to open a conversation to anyone who could benefit

from hearing my story. Please reach out to any friends of yours with struggles and make sure they are doing okay.

Perhaps I’ll update this with more details in the future but here’s the general idea. 

I was a bad cat in my teenage years with many bad habits, but I am blessed to have moved past them and grow into

the manimal I am today. During my highschool career I had every bad habit under the sun. I stole, fought, partied

too often, disrespected, put others down, half assed everything from relationships to school work, had an alcohol

addiction, nicotine addiction, weed addiction, porn addiction, social media addiction, netflix addiction, and

probably more stuff I can’t think of right now. 

I don’t remember what drove me to change, perhaps it was gradual I don’t remember. I eventually figured

out I didn’t want to continue hurting my body, making others feel bad, regarding women

in that picture, or using my time towards anything but my goals and the important people around me.

So, I fought back against these temptations and behaviors. It took being alone to figure myself out. I remember

I stopped the drugs and behavior stuff first. I don’t recall how exactly but I remembered it was hard and that it

took great willpower. Then the disrespect and putting others down. Why be mean? I just did so people would

think I was funny and cool but deep down we were all insecure. I know now that strong people aren’t mean they

are kind. The next to go were the more passive habits which in moderation are okay,

felt more at peace without it all. It was very hard stopping quitting netflix, tiktok and porn and through willpower

I only found myself hating myself and stuck in a loop of really painful moments of relapse, these moments felt

horrible. But I found a different way to think about these habits which allowed me to stop. Essentially I read a

book easypeasy and the main idea is to change the way you think about your change: not that you are quitting

a habit, but that you are freeing yourself from it. 

I was able to find myself in a position of no bad boy habits and on a journey of building greater ones the summer

of 2024. Now I can be the best I can be and give the best I am to my family, and those around me. 

If you have struggled with anything similar please reach out itd be lovely to talk.

Update:

Guys, those more passive habits struck again in the middle of this semester Fall 2024. It was the stress that broke

me. But I've continued stronger with a greater idea of what hard work means to me. A bracelet helps if there's

something motivating on it, try it out. Regardless of this failure I'll continue and take on an even heavier work load

this Spring 2025. It'll be fun.